Tell me what you want. Just say it. I'm a big boy. I can take it.
That's the plea. That's the hope. Will it happen?
What am I talking about?
If you've dated online, or are dating online, you'll be familiar with the problem that there are people who do not bother to fill in the self-description portion of their profiles, or indeed lie to fucking death.
I think we need to be honest with each other. If you are indeed looking for that love of your life, why lie?
Here's the 'About Me' section from a girl I messaged. Of those who fill these things out, her's was quite typical:
I can be quite shy at first but once you get to know me you'll wish I was shy again. I have caught the travelling bug and will be off to Mount Everest in a matter of weeks eek!!!!
I love listening to music and socialising, going out to dinner, theatre shows, cinema. In all honesty, I am not keen on going clubbing but then again I can't turn down a few drinks.
Goal in life is to explore the world more and participate in a triathalon!
Get in touch if you want to know more.
Nothing Earth-shattering, nothing particularly revealing, but she gives a few things away someone who is interested in her can latch onto and find common ground.
Maybe the person has gone to Nepal before, maybe they are going. How about films? Maybe they are a film buff and have advanced tickets to see the latest blockbuster. Or how about the theatre? You've just scored tickets to see Book of Mormon and an invite to the aftershow? Fucking A.
So you give her those. You explain how you share these things in common, and maybe you could go on a date and see what else you have in common.
Nothing wrong there, right?
Well what if they don't message you back.
That's weird. That's odd.
A lot of these dating sites let you know when someone has been looking at your profile, so you know they have seen what you're about. So why the no reply?
Did you talk too much about the theatre? She said she likes the theatre.
How about travelling? Maybe she's a five star girl and you're a roughing it on the trail guy.
Do you see the problem? We airbrush ourselves to an extent that we are no longer portraying ourselves. We bring out the very best, most exciting parts, and when someone comes along and matches some of those, you suddenly realise you actually want something far different.
Be honest. Do you want a 6ft, stunning doctor? Say it. Fuck anyone who doesn't like that.
Set out your stall and be truthful to yourself and everyone else.
The biggest cliché I've seen, from either gender, is to say that they are looking for that nice someone who they can love back, yada yada yada.
So you don't care if they work as a cashier at Lidl? Or how about they have alopecia, and are as smooth as a seal?
We're all in the same boat. We're all single and looking for someone. Maybe we should all put our cards on the table and help everyone else navigate this sickening world of self-destruction.
I'll be honest with you. You can't cook? You hate cooking? Well fuck you. Good luck with your life, but honestly I love to cook. I love food. If I can't share that with you, maybe you're not the one for me.
You can only travel from air conditioned palace to air conditioned SUV? Fuck you very much. I grab my rucksack and walk out there, and experience travelling. I don't need silk sheets and spa breaks.
You hate going to the theatre and couldn't picture sitting on the front row of a comedy show? You'll hate me. That's what I do, that's what I love.
How easy was that? We could all be that honest, and we'd all be better for it.
