A man's man?

'I like to be treated like a princess! Like a man who knows how to be a man...'

During my, now slightly longer than previous, time on online dating platforms I've come across a number of unbelievable statements. 

The above quote is a prime example. When someone would like to be treated like a 'princess' is that in the Diana way, or the Princess Barbie way? In either case, they'll be covered in cum, and end up being shovelled out of the crumpled wreckage of regret. 

Competition

How do you stand out from the crowd?

I remember watching an abhorrent TV show called The Pick-up Artist. Yes, it's as disgusting as it sounds.

The 'lead' 'artist' (read: prick) talked about doing something called 'peacocking'. This does not mean covering your groin in colourful feathers, prancing around bars, hoping, just hoping, for one girl to like your feathers.

No. Peacocking is when a man - usually a man - does something to stand out, to show he's the lad you ladies want let violate you.

Early warning signs: A date

Nothing to say

I knew this date would be a clusterfuck. I knew this really wasn't something I should do, but I need something to kickstart the year. I indulged in self-harm, and as usual, I got what I deserved.

I started to talk to a girl on PoF and well she seemed fine if a bit boring. She never really had much to say. I figured perhaps she was just someone who is better in person, and that's no bad thing. 

We spent a couple of weeks talking that way, or at least chitchatting about nothing at all. I didn't learn too much about her and she didn't ask much about me. It was everyday 'hello' 'what's going on', things so inane you'd need to wash your brain out with Listerine.