Not feeling it

You meet a girl. You go on a date. It went, you think, pretty well. And then she says she didn't feel a thing. At best it's confusing, at worst you start to question your sanity. 

The above happened to me, in what was my first great date in a long time. To be fair I was shooting high. She is a doctor, I'm a professional liar (read: journalist. I'm not really a liar. Was that a lie?). She played along though. She brought some game. I brought a huge amount of game. More game than I realised I had. And still... Nothing.

It's still pretty confusing. We didn't have an awkward moment. We laughed all night. I censored myself from swearing once; You don't know how hard that is for me. She was pretty, I was presentable. She didn't feel the chemistry, which is odd considering we had an encyclopaedic amount to talk about. 

I wouldn't necessarily have cared had I felt the same way. I'm not a guy who tends to feel that spark instantly. For me, it takes a couple of dates before I know exactly how I feel. Maybe I'm the exception, although I think I am the rule. I think it's a bit Disney to expect that spark. Sure it can happen, but that must be a one in a million shot. And I don't want to be hitting a million different dates. 

Being told you need to feel an instant spark is reducing people's patience in the whole dating institution. And exactly how long does that spark last? Is the fuse lit with vodka? 

When a girl says she doesn't 'feel any chemistry' it has to be down to looks, which is no bad thing. I won't deny that should I not have found her physically appealing I might have pulled the ripcord. And so I do not begrudge her that. It still doesn't stop me from befuddling myself over the night. 

There were some positive lessons out of the whole night. Another, positive, date under the belt is only a good thing. You have to be like a boxer. This is all training for the big fight. These dates are just the sparring partners. Some are complete amateurs who will shit the bed at the sign of your first jab. Others will end up being better than you, a future prospect for a prize far higher than you can offer. I'm jabbing, I'm swinging, and I'm keeping my footwork nimble. 

The other positive lesson was that I now know I can drink a quarter bottle of rum before a date without it impairing my performance. I probably will not repeat that though. It's very bad form of me to have done that, and I do not excuse myself. No one wants to go out with a drunk, even if they had sobered up sufficiently enough to knock back a few more cocktails during the date. 

Nailing down the next date is proving a kicker. I'm hoping to line up one after the other but it's just not happening. To keep up the momentum you need a better strike rate of one a month. Even if they are batshit crazy, you need to practice that one-two combination.