Binary dating, the downfall of society

I've been trying online dating for a couple of weeks now and I've discovered this is what's wrong with society.
I was a pretty reluctant participant to be fair. I'd always assumed online dating was filled with people looking for hook-ups, or those that were damaged. That's not meant as an insult, but a simple statement of fact.
Having lurked for a couple of weeks on various sites, checking to see who uses the site I plumped for Plenty of Fish (PoF). Firstly it's free, so it felt like less of a risk to me. Secondly, there seemed an abundance of Indian women.
I initially discounted the more traditional Shaadi.com for the reason it's quite traditional. It's the site your parents would use had they had access to it when they were looking for a partner.


The first week was a pretty dispiriting. A lot (no clear stats, just perception) of women couldn't be bothered to fill out their self-description. Simply saying "Ask me!"... Ask you what? You may be the One, but you show little commitment to anything.

I threw the dice and messaged as many people as I thought may be interesting. Did a single one bite? They didn't. It was pretty humiliating. Even though no one really knew what I was doing hitting the online scene, I felt devalued as a person.
This is where I discovered the problem with online dating, and what it says about us as a society. Online dating strips away everything that's interesting and exciting about dating in the flesh. As users we are tempted go simply by looks.
Eyes, lips, body, legs. They are all fair game. Indeed PoF has an option where you can cycle through endless display photos accepting or rejecting people just on their appearance alone.
Dating in person, while a nerve shredding experience for a shy person like myself, gave people a level playing field.

Image by Derek Key, Flickr.com

You may just be an average looking guy, or girl, who talks to an attractive person. Now in person you can use your personality to give the object of your desire more to think about. You're funny, you have things in common, you share experiences. That's all gone when you're online.
It's hard to be funny in print for talented writers, but for the average schmo who struggles to touch type? Well forget it bub.
Online dating is the preserve of the attractive or those who just want a quickie, and that's destructive. Look at your parents now, hell, look at anyone you know who is in a committed relationship. Just wonder if one is more attractive than the other, would they have gone out with your dad, your best friend, your sister-in-law?

If that person only had a photo to go on, and either made the split-second decision to message or not to message, or indeed did they spend minutes dissecting that photo. Why are they wearing last season's range? Who would take a display photo by a radiator? Is that pixelation or do they have a skin problem?
We've lost something when we filter our romantic relationships through the net. Those wonderful people who have that funny little thing about them go missed because their eyebrows are too thick.
Is this all down to me not getting as many responses as I expected? Maybe. I couldn't dismiss that idea. Although I like to think I am being honest whatever happened. I had these feelings before, and this has reinforced that.
I do not doubt the majority of people have positive experiences, and outcomes they wanted, yet should that necessarily be celebrated? Are we dating in a binary monotone way which airbrushes away quirkiness and difference, and replaces that with cookie cutter looks and by the numbers personality?